ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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