She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize