we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How naked do you want me to be?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
