she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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