She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
