I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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