I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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