new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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