some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
