first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
