Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
