yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
handjob tips. give me some.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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