I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
