My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize