some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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