life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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