and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
