i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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