At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
