i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
