I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
