Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
