My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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