I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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