we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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