Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
