i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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