I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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