i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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