i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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