I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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