My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
