He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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