I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
