we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
