Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
