I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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