hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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