you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
