just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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