Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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