i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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