no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
