I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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