I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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