she was so not down for the gang bang
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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