I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my liver is dry heaving
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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