i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
