You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
