I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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