you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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