Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
