good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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