even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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