New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
