I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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