If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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