K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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