Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We got so high we made milksteak
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
