i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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