Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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