Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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